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Tuesday, Oct. 7, 1997 Land of the Smiling Billboards In the Land of the Smiling Billboards, cutouts of celebrities as tall as buildings wear truck-size grins to beckon tourists to their shows. Among the entertainers bringing some country-flavored Vegas glitz to the steep Ozark hills of Branson, Missouri: Wayne Newton, Andy Williams, Bobby Vinton, the Osmond Brothers (on ice, yet), Dolly Parton (she owns the Dixie Stampede dinner theater but was not appearing there), Barbara Mandrell and Jennifer (no last name, just a pretty blonde named Jennifer whose billboard says hers is the most-requested show; she doesn't look like a Jennifer to me; no, she looks like a Suzette or a Tiffany or a Candy but not exactly a Jennifer). Despite the crowds and traffic, we found comfortable and very pink accommodations at the Branson Towers, which we discovered on arrival had been named for the adjacent radio and water towers, not for the Victorian turrets I had earlier imagined. Its lobby was adorned with a grand piano, the site of nightly ice cream socials, and a guitar affixed to the wall high above the multi-story fireplace mantel. Nearby is the Park of the Giant Skillets, better known as Silver Dollar City in these parts, where the outdoor cooks serve up down-home fare from frying pans that are as big as the rafts in the nearby Lost River ride. Webcurrents recommends: apple dumplings with homemade cinnamon ice cream, and the frozen lemonade with cherry juice.) This is the best time of year to visit Silver Dollar City, during its National Festival of Craftsmen, when artisans demonstrate glass-blowing, bee-hiving (honey-harvesting?), barrel-making, quilting, wood carving, basketweaving, pottery-spinning and the like. At the entrance to the park is another attraction, Marvel Cave, once mined for its bat guano and formerly called Marble Cave (no marble was found, hence the name change; evidently Guano Cave was not considered). We were joined on an hour-long walking tour by a large group of cattle ranchers from what used to be East Germany, and we had the pleasure of hearing the details along each stop "auf Deutsch." Preserved for posterity is a photo of our multi-lingual group, taken at precisely 11:55 a.m. on Sunday, Oct. 5, 1997, in front of the same painted backdrop as another photo from our last visit at a quarter past noon on June 28, 1993, in the Land of the Smiling Billboards at the Park of the Giant Skillets' Guano Cave (German translation unavailable).
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Julie Wolpers dba Webcurrent Communications |
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